Breastfeed at your own risk: This baby may bite

I have breast fed all of my babies. Aidan was exclusively breastfed for his first year of life. Not a bite of food until his first birthday when he had cake. Of course he also had not one tooth in this mouth until around that time. Although Aidan only had breast milk he would take a bottle. As a first time breast feeding mom I hated nursing in public and quite frankly between nerves coordination malfunctions and a very large baby it just never went well. I should also add large breasts make being discreet almost impossible unless you put a blanket over the babies head which I find to be super awkward and Aidan apparently did too. The blanket over the head never lasted for more than a minute or two. Try eating with a blanket over your face.. it isn't fun. I don't blame him for flailing like a fish out of water. Needless to say I was thankful that Aidan would take a bottle when we were out. It was just after his first birthday that he got his first tooth which felt like perfect timing. My goal was to breast feed for one year. We made it. I was done.

With Seark I had the same goal. Breast feed for the first year. I still was not a huge fan of nursing in public. Seark was born in May and the weather that Spring was exceptionally nice. Which meant that we would be spending most of our days at the park. I decided to put my nerves aside and just feed him where ever we happened to be. Sitting on the park bench while Aidan ran around with his friends Seark was getting extremely fussy. I had held off on feeding for as long as possible. I brought my nursing cover with me. My travel boppy pillow and found a bench kind of out of the way. The park was not busy that day so how bad could it be? I get Seark situated and covered and start feeding him. Not even a full minute later a little girl about the age of 3 wandered over by me with her dad just steps behind her. She stood there staring at me. I said smiled and said hi to her.

Whatcha doin? Is that a baby under there?
(seriously?!) Yup that's a baby under there. He is eating.
Eating what?
Milk.
Can I see him?
When he is done. Sure.
I wanna see him now... (with that she walked over and lifted the blanket up to get a look at Seark)
OH. MY. GOD. YOUR BABY IS EATING YOUR BOOBY!!! DADDY!!! THE BABY IS EATING HER BOOBY!!!

Just when I had assured myself this wouldn't be awkward at all....

I started giving Seark the bottle when we were out. Seark eventually got used to the bottle and started to prefer it. Still determined to give him breast milk for one year I started to pump. Pumping is a cruel joke.  It sounds like it should be easy. I frankly did not want to spend money on a $300 breast pump so I bought a manual one. Yeah that thing is good for strengthening the muscles in your hand and giving you carpel tunnel. Not for pumping on a regular basis. I finally caved and bought an electric pump. Still being cheap I bought a single pump. I will tell you they make a double for a reason. With in a few weeks Seark was strictly bottle fed. He was about four months old at the time. I felt guilty for not trying harder to stick with the breast feeding. At the same time I knew the nursing in public was just not for me. With in a month of switching to the bottle Seark cut his bottom two teeth and suddenly I didn't feel so bad. The thought of breast feeding a teething baby really didn't appeal to me or my nipples.

Now there is Rylan. Same plan. Breast feed for one year. I knew from doing it both ways already that I did prefer breastfeeding over bottle feeding mostly for the sake of convenience. With Rylan I have learned to be a pro at nursing anytime anywhere. I have flashed the occasional person and have had a few awkward moments but over all much smoother than the other two. So much so Rylan will NOT take a bottle. He is 8 months old and has NEVER had a bottle. Which is great. There is the obvious down sides like I have not had a drink in over a year now. I can not go anywhere for any length of time with out him because no one else can feed him which also means I am the only one that gets up with him at night. I survived nursing this baby through having the stomach virus multiple times this winter. The ability to breastfeed a baby in between bouts of puking while you feel like the room is spinning makes you feel like you have super powers. 8 months. We got this. A few more months until his first birthday. I got this. And then Ry got.... a tooth. And then another one.

Breastfeeding a baby with a mouthful of teeth did not enter my thoughts until I was breastfeeding a baby with teeth. Those words shouldn't even be used in the same sentence. They feel dangerous together.

Every night I nurse Ry as he drifts off to sleep. Last night was no different. That is until he clamped down on my nipple with those two little razor teeth. The pain was shocking. It took my breath away. I was frozen with what felt like a baby alligator trying to pierce my left nipple. It is amazing the things us moms can do. Normally a purple nurple would stop someone dead in their tracks. Render them powerless. It took all I had in me not to scream or drop Rylan like a hot potato. Which would have been a bad idea anyway because he most likely would have taken my nipple with him. I stayed calm. Tears streaming down my cheeks. Gently unlatch his barbed wire mouth. Burped him. And softly laid him down in his crib.

Normally I wake up to Rylan peering over his crib bumper trying to get a glimpse of me as I come to get him and think to myself he is one of the cutest babies ever. This morning I woke up to that same smiling face and all I could think was he should really have a muzzle or at least a warning sign that says "caution this baby bites."