Why did you find my stash of baby teeth? (long period of silence) Kidding. Aidan clearly I am kidding. Why would you ask that?
I don't know. When I swallowed my tooth that one time I still got money even though I didn't leave it under my pillow.
Well I don't think the pillow thing is a formal rule. It just makes it easier for the fairy to find.
And then there was that time I got 20$ under my pillow but she didn't take my tooth.
I searched for that damn tooth. It wasn't there. I swear.
Yeah the money isn't in exchange for teeth. It's more like a reward for losing them.
I already know what's coming next and he may have me. I just might have to tell the truth.
Well this is really why I think you are the tooth fairy or lying about that there is one. That tooth that came out last night before I went to bed I put under my pillow. The tooth is gone this morning but I didn't get any money. I got an oreo.... with the cream licked out of it.
Think quick. Think quick. There is no reasonable explanation for this. I am a totally shitty tooth fairy.
Ummmmm. Maybe it's like Santa. Ya know like when you used to leave cookies for Santa.
What?! That doesn't even make any sense. I. LEAVE. THE COOKIES. FOR SANTA. He doesn't leave them for me.
Oh right. (Shit) You got me. I'm the tooth fairy.
Oh my GOD MOM!!!! Why do you lie to me?!
Okay. I'm sorry I am not the tooth fairy.
WHAT?! YOUR NOT?! I MEANT WHY DID YOU LIE ABOUT THAT IT WASN'T YOU?! YOUR NOT THE TOOTH FAIRY EITHER?!
Oh god I am so confused. I have no idea what this child wants to hear at this point. The truth is I had no money on me. Like nothing. I meant to run to the atm but forgot by the time everyone finally went to bed. Then I went to bed. I woke up at 3am to pee and while stumbling around the bathroom with no glasses I knocked over the tooth brush holder which reminded me about the tooth. I went downstairs to look for something to put under his pillow (with out my glasses). I couldn't find anything. Mainly cause I couldn't see a thing. In fact Aidan is lucky I didn't break my neck walking blindly down the stairs scrambling to find a present from the tooth fairy. Why oreos seemed like a good idea I don't even know other than that it was 3 am and anything seemed like a good choice. There was only one left. Seark likes to lick the cream out and put them back. I didn't even think to check it. I mean really when your leaving an oreo under your child's pillow at 3 am your not thinking at all. In fact I forgot all about until this moment.
MOM. MOM. MOM!!!! SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH???The truth is.... your brother stole your money and thought it was funny to replace it with an oreo that he licked the cream out of.
Really?
Yup. It was only a joke. Seark had no idea you would be upset, so don't say anything to him we don't want to hurt his feelings. When daddy gets home he will give you $20 to make up for what Seark took.
Did I really just do that? Why am I perpetuating this lie?! If there was ever a time to come clean it would have been now! Why did I blow my chance to hang up my creepy tooth fairy wings?! And a fairy that collects teeth from children... Really?! How has that not been made into a horror movie yet?
I normally tell my kids the truth. about EVERYTHING. Even the things that they wish they hadn't asked after they hear the truth. Like that babies come out of vaginas. I mean if there is any ugly truth to hide that would be it. I don't even want to know about that and one came out of mine.
So why lie? And not even so much the ridiculous one that I just fed him. I mean why lie at all? Why did I ever tell him that there was a tooth fairy? I didn't even hesitate to tell him about the tooth fairy when his first tooth fell out. I was excited to leave the money under his pillow and see the surprise and delight on his face in the morning when he found that indeed money was left there. Obviously the excitement wore off after he lost tooth after tooth after tooth. Besides $20 a tooth is a bit costly when they are falling out one after another at the rate they are. I had an easier time confirming that Santa wasn't real. (stay tuned for part II of "Fairytales, lies, and all the other bs we tell our kids" if you want to know the Santa isn't real story) Maybe it is the flack I caught for that one that has me so hesitant to fess up about the tooth fairy. Part of me thinks that Aidan may just be messing with me. After all I just assumed all the fairytale characters went out the window with Santa. I guess not.
I think the initial lie comes from some weird passing down of traditions. I know it wasn't even a conscious thought for me. I clearly remember him losing his first tooth. He was so upset about. I immediately with out thought started telling him about how exciting it was because the tooth fairy was going to come and leave him something special as if I believed in her too. And maybe that is it right there. Your kids bring you right back to your childhood and if only for brief moments you remember what it is like to believe in something again and you want them to have that too.
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