THE WORST MOTHER EVER

Mom can I play the wii?

No.

Can I play the Xbox?

Nope.

Can I use your computer?

Sorry no. Why don’t you draw?

What about your phone?

Ugh. No. Go outside and play with Seark.

When will I get my ipod back?

Never. Stop asking. You have hundreds of toys. A huge yard. A bike. FIND SOMETHING TO DO OTHER THAN A VIDEO GAME!

You know what else I have… THE WORST MOTHER EVER!!!

It certainly does suck that my son feels this way however I am by no means the worst mother ever. I remember when I was little we used to play outside. ALL. THE. TIME. We would dig holes and make mud pies. Climb the big tree in the back yard so we could pick cherries and throw them at each other. We rode our bikes. We played tag. In the summer we would catch lightening bugs. Granted we would smash them on our fingers to make glow rings but that’s not the point. The point is we knew what playing was and we liked it. Since my oldest son has started school he has stopped wanting to play. He acts like it is a chore. “Mom no one else is forced to play! My friends all get to use their ipods”. Given the opportunity he would sit in front of the tv for hours on end playing video games. Or on the couch playing his ipod or ipad or ds whatever… anything other than god forbid using his imagination. Unfortunately for him we have rules about that.  There are absolutely no video games Monday through Friday. He is allowed to have them on the weekend for 2 hours. After typing that I realize I may not be the worst mother ever but am probably in the running for the lamest mother ever. That’s okay I’ll take lamest.

It amazes me how many parents let their kids do nothing but occupy themselves with electronics. Don’t get me wrong I see the appeal. Technology is a fantastic babysitter and would most likely make my life a whole lot easier but I just can’t do it. Aidan had a “play date” a while back which is also something we didn’t have when we were little. There was no specified time to play. My cousins lived next door to us and we just played with them when they were outside. Now it is a scheduled thing. So Aidan has three friends over for a “play date” and before they arrive I let him know what they are allowed to do and not. I make him give me his ipod (this was before it got taken away FOREVER) because I tell him you are having your friends over so you can interact with them not so they can watch you on your ipod. He reluctantly handed it over. When his friends arrived to my surprise they ALL brought their ipods with them. I had three six year old boys come over, sit on the couch and watch each other play different games! How is that even fun?! Have times changed that much from when I was a kid that I don’t even know what fun is anymore? Is it a boy thing? I honestly don’t know. So of course Aidan wanted his ipod back so he could join in with not interacting with his friends. For a minute I thought oh well I tried I’ll just give it to him. I don’t want him to feel left out. As I headed to the fridge which is like a graveyard for all the toys that have been taken away I thought to myself this is NUTS. I went back in the living room and told the other boys that if they wanted to stay and play they could but they would have to leave their ipods on the table until their moms came to get them. Now they all looked at me like was indeed nuts!  

Maybe I am. I actually feel bad that my kids are growing up in the age of the ipod. That they won’t know a world without facebook. I think technology is great, but I wish there was more of a balance or at least that other parents were on the same page.  Before I had kids I totally thought that I was going to be the cool mom. The mom that was also your best friend. Through trial and error I have learned that is not possible. In these formative years you can only be one. You can only be the parent. Hopefully when they are older they will want to be your friend. I’m so not the cool mom. Parenting is not always easy. I feel like I am learning to walk tight rope every day. I don’t want to misstep and keep falling down. I don’t want my kids feel like I am the worst mother ever. The one thing that gives me hope is I remember a time when I thought my mother also was too strict, too overbearing, and yes the worst mother EVER. I got over it. Eventually we became not just friends, she is my best friend. Now that I have kids I realize what a relentless pain in the ass I was. Thank God my mother got over that too. I also realize she never wanted to be the worst mother either. She wanted to be the best. She was a tight rope walker. Constantly walking that fine line between keeping my best interest and keeping her sanity because saying no is hard. It’s an incredible balancing act. I never gave her enough credit. I can only hope that someday my boys have the same revelation. Until then and for many years to come I hold the title “WORST MOTHER EVER”.