Pro Procrastinator

 

I am a procrastinator. I don’t know why. It never works to my advantage. Aidan was invited to a birthday party and I had over a week to go out and buy a gift. Plenty of opportunity to go by myself at a time when my husband was home and could stay with the kids. That would be too easy besides I like the rush I get as I try to accomplish a weeks’ worth of tasks in a matter of hours … with three children. Just getting the stroller and car seat and kids in the car is a lengthy process. Especially now that Seark is in “I do myself” mode”.  Aidan has yet to reach that stage. Aidan is stuck in “do it for me”. So leaving the house goes something like this. I tell the kids to wait by the door. Just wait. Don’t touch it. Don’t open it and DON’T LET THE DOG OUT! Two minutes later I am yelling to shut the door and get the dog back in the house. Forget it leave the door the way it is and sit on the couch and I’ll get the dog. By get the dog I mean I will bribe that fat little barker back in the house with cheese. Cheese must be awesome. Out of the hundred times a week I bribe him with it he only actually gets the cheese probably 10 % of the time. Yet every time he hears the words cheese he comes running. After the dog is in the house I get Rylan in the car seat carrier and like a stewardess make the final boarding call before the other two get off the couch and come to the door that they were ready to bolt out of 10 minutes ago.

Once outside Seark has to get himself in the car. I drive an SUV. Seark is 2. He has the legs of 2 year old. Getting in the car by himself is a project. Like mountain climbing. I remind myself over and over independence is good. Independence is good. Independence is good. While Seark is trying to scale the side of the truck I’ll strap Aidan’s seat belt on him. That alone is a reminder that independence is good. Rylan is always the last one in the car because he can only sit inside the car for a limited amount of time before he sounds the alarm. Yes the alarm. In the car where I cannot see him (because he is still rear facing) is the only time he cries to the point that it sounds alarming. By now about 25 minutes has passed since I first said we were leaving. Not to worry the party isn’t until 5:30. It is now 3:25 and I just have to go to Toys R Us and get a gift. Stop at the farmers market and pick up lactaid milk because we are out and that is all Seark drinks. Get dinner for my husband. Feed Rylan. Change Aidan’s clothes. Yeah, safe to say we are going to be late for the party.

Aside from the time constraint it is never a good idea to go to a toy store with the intent of leaving with only a gift for another child.  We haven’t even pulled up to the toy store yet and Aidan and Seark are already asking if they can get something. “Peas peas peas mama PEAS I anna dust det un toyeeee.” He’s so stinkin’ cute who could resist that plea. This is the part where I admit I am that mom. The mom that also bribes her children to behave. I tell them both if you are on your absolute best behavior and I’m talking better than any child has EVER been than you can get a toy. A TOY. ONE TOY. ONE 10$ TOY! Problem with that is at their ages they have no concept of money nor do they care. All they heard was you can get a toy. The other problem with that is there are no toys in Toys R Us for under 10$ or even 20$. Already this “quick” trip for a 35$ gift card has turned into an hour or longer ordeal that is going to cost me at a minimum 75$ by the time all is said and done.

I get Aidan out of the car and then Rylan. And then we wait. And we wait some more for mister “I do” to get his five point car seat harness off. Inside the store they are absolute angels while I pick up some baby stuff that I haven’t bought yet in order to avoid this trip. As we pass the Disney aisle Seark says “mama is me turn, is Searkie turn”. Seark is obsessed with all things Disney. He loves Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and Jake and the Never Land Pirates, and Doc Mc Stuffins. For Christmas “Santa” brought him the Doc Mc Stuffins check-up center. If you are not familiar with the show Doc Mc Stuffins is a cute little girl who is a toy doctor. Her clinic is hot pink and purple. So is her check-up center. Hot pink and purple, all glitter and girlie, and Seark loves it. My husband… not so much. Lucky for Seark Daddy is not Santa. Any way for Christmas he got a ton of doc stuff. Even the purple coat and pink stethoscope. Four months after Christmas Disney decides to come out the boy version of all things Doc Mc Stuffins. Of course they do. FOUR MONTHS AFTER WE HAE PURCHASED EVERYTHING. Seark was super excited. So excited he peed his pants and not just a little bit. He stood there in a puddle picking out all the new doc stuff he NEEDED.

SEARK YOU PEED YOUR PANTS!!!!

MOMMIA I KNOW!!! I HAD TO PEE NOW MOMMIA!!!

Is this kid serious?! What is the attitude?! I didn’t pee his pants!!! This is NOT best behavior! Don’t MOMMIA ME!

Ugh!!! What to do? Damn it there is someone else coming down the aisle! I push the cart in front of Seark so the mother passing us can’t see the pee puddle on the floor. She smiles at me, smiles at Ry. Thankfully she doesn’t stop. Then I do what any sensible mom would do. I can see the clearance rack of clothes from where we are so I send Aidan over to pick out new pants for Seark. Aidan comes back with pants and I change Seark as fast as humanly possible in the Disney aisle. To which Aidan exclaims…

MOM YOU CAN’T STEAL THOSE PANTS! WE DIDN’T PAY YET HE CANT WEAR THEM!

Aidan SHHHHHHH I am not stealing them! I’m gonna pay when we get to the front. Lower your voice.

Once Seark is dressed and we have way more toys than I set out to buy I find someone who works in the store and tell them there is juice or something on the floor in the Disney aisle and they should clean it up before someone slips in it. I lied. Of course I lied. Who tells someone my son just peed all over the floor. Sorry.

It is now 4:45. Go through my mental check list of things to do. Okay we can order food and have it delivered. That takes care of dinner. I will feed Rylan quick while Aidan gets changed. Or just feed Rylan and Aidan can just wear what he has on. We are going to be late but not crazy late. Just a few minutes late which is basically on time for us. When you have three kids no one really expects you on time anyway. My husband comes home from work. Rylan is fed. Aidan has at least changed his shirt. Dinner is delivered. (sigh of relief) I leave Seark and Rylan with my husband. Get Aidan in back in the car. We arrive at the party only 10 minutes late. I am feeling accomplished when my husband sends me a text “hey Seark wants a bottle I don’t see any milk what should I give him?” Almost… I almost accomplished it all!

I don’t know when I will learn my lesson. This will most likely not be the last time I wait until the last minute and then forget everything I was supposed to do because I am rushing around. On time is over rated, besides I need something to blog about.

 ps. I did pay for the pants