boys will be boys???

Boys will be boys. Or will they? What does that even mean? If boys will be boys surely girls will be girls? Although I have never heard anyone say girls will be girls to describe any certain type of female behavior. Is it because they won’t be girls? What else would they be? Boys will be boys seems to have become a blanket statement to explain away any and every bad behavior exhibited by a boy (young or old). Are boys just expected to be messy, crude, aggressive, unruly, obnoxious? Or is that girls are by nature sweeter, tidier, more thoughtful, classy?

Hmmmm…. I have three boys. I don’t find that they are genetically predisposed to possess any of those less desirable qualities. I think all children boy or girl can. All babies are born I think with a blank slate as far behavior goes. They learn what is acceptable and not over the span of their little life. They learn by doing. They learn not to only if consequences follow.

 All kids will do, let’s say questionable things. Like color the walls, put toys in the toilet, bite another child, smell their own feet, be so proud of their poop they want everyone in the house to come see it before the potty “eats” it. I think universally kids will do strange and not so loveable things. My boys have done all of the above and much, much more. They tend to be messy. At times loud. Even heavens for bid fresh. They giggle about farts and burps and other bodily functions that make me wonder what is going on their little brains. Is this because they are boys?

I have never met a child that is not messy. Mine are maybe the messiest I know but I don’t live with anyone else’s kids. Sometimes the mess comes from lack of coordination. Basic hand to mouth action doesn’t go as smoothly as you would think. “Oopies” is something I hear frequently when my 2 year old is eating or drinking from a cup that I have given him hesitantly without the lid. He is after all as he reminds me constantly “a big boyee”. A big boy that cannot manage to get the yogurt in his mouth or keep the milk off the floor. I find it hard to believe that this is simply because of his gender. I imagine if I had a girl the age of two she would have the same skill set in the coordination department. Maybe the difference would be what they do with the mess. Seark likes to finger paint with the spilled yogurt.

If I had three girls instead of boys would I have never called a plumber because of a flushed toy? Perhaps little girls are not as curious about what size toy will make it all the way down the toilet. Maybe they don’t find farts funny. When little girls are fresh or hit another child often their mother will immediately apologize for their behavior as if they are the first little girl to ever exhibit this unwanted behavior.   “Oh my I am soooo sorry she is NEVER like this. I don’t know what came over her. She didn’t get her nap in today… that must be it.” Same scenario involving a little boy. The mother often shrugs her shoulders and mutters “well, boys will be boys.”  My boys are not perfect. But I refuse to be that mother the one saying … boys will be boys. My boys will defy that statement. I will let them play in dirt, and pretend to be cops and robbers, and all the other things boys will do. I will also hold them to a higher standard. They will be boys that turn into respectable gentlemen, productive members of society, maybe even someone’s prince charming someday. Set the bar too low and they will step over accepting that is all that is expected of them. Raise the bar to new heights and watch them soar trying to reach it.