And this is why we dont go out to dinner anymore

Tonight was the first night in a long time that we went out to dinner at a nice restaurant with all the kids. I had said to my husband I don’t think we have been out to eat since Rylan was born. We hadn’t. We should. Let’s. We went to our favorite place. A small Italian restaurant that we had been going to for years until recently. I made sure that Rylan took a nice long nap before we went. I fed him right before we headed out the door. Seark had also napped and woken up in a good mood. I gathered toys for the older boys to play with at the table and teething toys for Ry. We planned to go to dinner at 5:00. That way we would be home by the kids bed time. I’m usually not one to keep a strict schedule but something happens to my children around 8pm. It’s like they turn into gremlins. I’m used to it. Doesn’t bother me…. As long as we are home. If we are home when the tide turns I can simply put them to bed. If we are out, well if we are out it is safe to say we will be doing the walk of parental shame out of whatever fine dining establishment we are at.

Everyone had a nap. CHECK

Everyone has a toy. CHECK

Rylan has been fed. CHECK

We are good to go. We actually get everyone dressed ready and out the door on time. We haha, correction I. My husband is home but he is not an active participant in getting the kids ready. It really is amazing that I can get myself ready. Get clothes out for Aidan. Get Seark dressed. Get Rylan dressed and fed. Get everyone out the door and buckled into their seats in the same amount of time it takes Jason to get just himself ready.

 Everyone behaves in the car on the way to the restaurant. There is no wait for a table. The food comes quickly. BAM Rylan is suddenly unhappy. Of course he is the food just came to the table. I bounce him, rock him, sing to him, give him a toy, another toy. Oh damn it he must be hungry again. Although I have no problem nursing in public I don’t love it in very busy close quarters. Mostly because I am completely awkward at getting Ry in the right position when there is not much room to move. I decide to take him to the car to feed him. Of course if I am going anywhere with the baby Seark also has to come. So Seark, Rylan and I are all going out to the car together to feed Rylan while my food gets cold. For once Rylan eats quickly and we head back inside. I get Seark situated. Get myself and Ry situated. Ok great time to eat.

Mommy I have to pee. (sigh) Hand Ry to my husband. Get Seark out of his seat. Take him to the bathroom. Most of the time this is just a practice run. Seark rarely has to use the bathroom while we are out but he likes to visit each one. Wash his hands. Use the hand dryer. Several times. And yes another practice run. By the time we get to the bathroom he no longer has to go but would like to wash and dry his hands.

Back to the table. Rylan is now crying because someone other than me held him for 5 minutes. Get Seark back in his seat. Cut up his food. Calm Ry down. At this point Aidan and Jason are more than half way through their meal and I have yet to touch mine, I pick up my fork and cut one piece of shrimp in half.

Mommy I have to do poopie. Oh Seark are you kidding me we just came from the bathroom! MOMMY I HAVE TO DO POOPIE. Okay. Okay. Back to the bathroom it is. I have learned the hard way that even though this may be another false alarm I better take him. And false alarm it is. Nonetheless we must once again wash and air dry our hands.  

Back to the table. Rylan is hysterical. Get Seark situated again. Calm Rylan down. Eat a few bites of cold shrimp.

Mommy I have to poopie NOW! Seriously Seark?! Seriously! MOMMY I HAVE TO POOPIE NOW!!! NOW NOW NOW! This time he actually had to go…

And now I remember this is why we don’t go out to dinner anymore. I love these boys but good Lord I miss dinner. I miss going out to dinner and just sitting down and talking and eating (hot food). I miss the days when I did not know what the inside of every bathroom everywhere we went looked like. I miss talking about adult stuff. I miss not lugging around a bag full of crap. I feel like a magician and my audience of three is always waiting for me to pull something spectacular out of my bag like a rabbit just so they have something cool to do during dinner, because just eating would be ridiculous. The irony in all of this is before I had kids I would fuss over other peoples babies while we were out waiting for the day I had my own. And in a few year I will be again able to go out and just enjoy dinner. When that day comes I will be missing days like today wondering where the time went and wishing my boys were still babies. Who doesn’t love cold shrimp anyway?