I blame the parents

Sitting on a park bench at the school playground waiting for Aidan to get out of class three little girls run by. They are in kindergarten. I know this because the kindergarten kids get out 15 minutes before the older kids. Adorable 5 or 6 year old girls with their pig tails and school uniforms. I hear the one say to the other “run faster so Holly can’t catch up to us. She isn’t allowed to play with us today.” The girl that she is talking to looks over her shoulder at the one who is trailing behind as she picks up the pace. The first two girls get to the jungle gym at the same time. They both race up the stairs and sit at the top of the slide. The third girl “Holly” goes up after them. They are all still in ear shot of me. “Sorry Holly you can’t play with us today”. The members only mean girls Monday club of two go down the slide and take off running again. Holly just watches as they leave her behind. Looking defeated she sits with her back against the tic tac toe board. You can hear the other girls obnoxiously giggling in the distance.

Part of me so wanted to tell Holly… You do not need them. You are better off without them. The only reason they need to make you feel like crap is because they have their own self esteem issues that they will work out in high school by sleeping with very zit faced teen boy that smiles at them. Trust me they just did you a favor.  As much as I wanted to I didn’t. I did look around to see who and where were the mothers’ of the mean girls. They were there. The whole time conversing with each other over iced lattes oblivious to their children’s’ rotten behavior. I wondered if they knew what little brats their cute little girls were. They probably do. Children tend to mimic their parents.

You always hear people say “kids today”….. What about kids today? They are no different than kids of my day. Kids were mean back when I was grammar school. There were the girls that wouldn’t let you be in their made up club and there were girls that would purposely invite you to humiliate you. And then there was the Holly’s. By now I am sure you have guessed I was a Holly. Luckily as far as school aged torment goes I flew under the radar. I was also never one of the cool kids. I was excluded a lot left standing on the jungle gym alone wondering what I did wrong. As it turns out for the better. In grammar school I felt the sting of exclusion and longed to be part of part of the crowd. By the time I reached high school all the cool girls were sleeping with the cool boys only to be labeled whores and eventually turn on each other.  So as it turn out all I missed out on was lame sleep overs in grammar school and awkward teenage sex in high school. Both of which I would have opted out of on my own free will had I ever been invited.

So what is the problem with kids? Why are they so damn mean? Maybe the problem is not and never was the kids but the parents. I mean kids will be kids right? Every kid even my kid will at some point be mean. Rude. Obnoxious. Of course they will they are kids. Curious little beings testing the limits and each other to see what is socially acceptable. The job of every parent is to teach them. Correct them. More importantly to show them. It’s the way you talk to your significant other. How you treat your pets. Build your child’s self-esteem in the way you interact with them so that they feel big without having to tear someone else down. Don’t preach about respect. Respect them. Be kind…. Even to strangers, just because. Don’t tell them treat others the way they want to be treated. Live that rule and they will get it. Don’t turn a blind eye to their bad behavior address it the same you would address someone mistreating them.

So I do I blame the parents. Not because I’m perfect I am far from it. My 2 year old curses every now and then because mommy has potty mouth and I don’t always remember to sensor myself. My 7 year old talks back from time to time because kids do that. My kids aren't perfect and neither am I. That doesn't mean I give up. Every day I am a better mother than I was the day before. I learn from my mistakes and theirs. Every day I take the opportunity when it arises and the time to correct my children if they are doing something unacceptable. We learn from each other. It is a tiring process some days. That aspect of this parenting job will never be done. In the end my kids and everyone they meet on their path will be better off for my efforts. I hope. So yeah, in my opinion it starts at home. Please feel free to correct me if  I am wrong but I blame the parents.