Seark loves to play with little figurines. They could be super heroes. Army men. Disney characters from Monsters Inc. to Doc McStuffins. He likes to take them apart limb by limb. Swap body parts with other figures and reattach them to make sort of a frankenfigure. Today he was playing with Doc McStuffins who he lovingly calls Doc Muppins which is really just the cutest thing. He has a Captain America about the same size. He dismembered Captain America first. Then started to take Doc Muppins apart. He took her head off first of course. Then her doctor coat and then her pants. So he could get to her arms and legs.
Mommia Doc Muppins is missing her PENIS??!
No silly SHE doesn't have one.
WHAT THE HECK?! (Seark's new favorite saying)
She didn't lose it. She never had one. Doc Muppins is a girl.
WHAT?! girls don't have penis??? How do they pee?
Sitting down.
WHAT THE HECK?!
Seark bursts out into laughter. Luckily although he is inquisitive he is not quite as persistent as his brother is/was. Which I am glad about because these are really not my favorite conversations. I remember when I was pregnant with Seark and as it got close to my due date (before I knew that I was having a C-section) Aidan asked how the baby was going to get out of my belly. My first response was simple. Your brother is going to come out of a tiny hole. But that wasn't good enough for Aidan who was at the time 4 1/2. He lifted up my shirt and said "what hole? where? I wanna see it?" Oh boy, how do I explain this?! Reverse psychology. How do you think your brother is gonna get out? To which he responded "You just told me that he is going to come out of a hole. Now I wanna see it?" I am of the philosophy if you are old enough to ask the question you are old enough to get a truthful answer.
So I asked him if he was sure that he wanted to know. Explained that it probably wasn't the answer that he was expecting. But if he still wanted to know I would tell him. I explained that the hole his brother would come out of wasn't in my belly. It was in another place. Aidan thought for a minute.
I could see the wheel turning in his little mind.
The baby is going to come out of your butt?!
No. Oh. my. god. No.
Then where? Just tell me already!!!
Babies come out of a girls private part when they are born. Do you know what that means?
He's coming out of your pajamas???
Yup. Yes he is. He is coming out of my pajamas.
Oh. Good. I am glad he isn't coming out of your butt.
(ummm yeah me too.)
About an hour later Aidan came in the kitchen where I was cooking dinner and said "I think I used the wrong word before. I didn't mean pajamas. I meant pajina. Is that where the baby is going to come out of?" I laughed and nodded. The reality of that nod hit him almost instantly. "MOM THAT IS DISGUSTING!!! WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME THAT??? IS THAT WHERE I CAME OUT OF??? EWWWWWWW GROSS!!!!!"
A few days later I found out that I was having a C-section which would have been really good to know and a much easier explanation. After Seark was born Aidan kept telling me that it wasn't fair that Seark got to come out of my belly and he didn't.
I imagine similar to the Santa debacle one day hopefully not soon some mother who told her child the stork lie will come to me while I wait to pick Aidan from school upset that my son has disillusioned her child and told them the truth about pajamas, pajinas, and where some babies come from. In the mean time the search is on for Doc Muppins missing penis because Seark is convinced she has one and for that matter so do I. Doesn't everyone? To a silly three year old boy... the answer is yes.
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