The count down is well under way. School is almost over. 1 day shy of the official first day of summer my regularly scheduled life can resume. I am not sure who is happier. It has been a long year. The longest. Most exhausting. Trying. Emotional. Frustrating. Disappointing. Want to rip my hair out of my head kind of year.
My heart broke as my child recounted stories told to him in the classroom by another child. It ached as I I learned of the second education he was getting from other children about things I worked so hard to shelter him from. Many nights my eyes stung as tried to catch my breath between sobs over mourning the loss of his innocence. I watched the glow in his eyes get dim and honestly wondered how will I survive this? How do I help him survive this? I saw his "friends" punching him and cried with him as he told me "this happens every day". I write this through tears. The place where my child is supposed to learn and thrive gave him nightmares. Turned him into some one I didn't know. Even worse someone I didn't know how to help.
I turned to his teacher. Who in turn passed our concerns onto the guidance counselor. A trained professional. In charge of psychological well being. Who in turn passed them onto the principal. In charge of the school. The "safe and loving" environment that they are supposed to collectively provide. All professionals. All paid to have my child's best interest at heart. Collectively failed him. In away I never thought possible. They used my words spoken in confidence to them against him. They humiliated him in front of his peers. They did more damage than they will ever understand or care to know.
I sought advice from a lawyer. Who pointed me in the direction of the superintendent. Our conversations were heated. They got me nowhere. No help. No change. One by one I almost let them break me. Almost. At any other time in my life. Concerning almost anything else they would have. Not now. Not at this point. I am someone's mother. I am all he has. I am his advocate. His voice. His support. I am unbreakable.
I am also NOT overly emotional. I am NOT raising a boy that is too sensitive. I am NOT going to let them dictate to me what is acceptable. I will NOT be talked in circles and made so dizzy by their banter that I stumble in my resolve. I will NOT give up because they don't think that my child is worth it.
There is a real problem with the public school system. The tolerance it has for bullying despite "policies" and campaigns against it is enough to turn your stomach. Their curriculum that only serves a handful of children that excel in learning in that type of manner NEEDS to change. And no I am not blaming the teachers. I know they work tirelessly and can only do so much with in the confinements of the system they work with in.
I know I am not the only parent that has gone through the ringer with the school. I know my child is not the only one that suffers from a failing system. I know it is a system designed to wear you down. Don't let it.
What is the answer? I have no idea. But I won't give up on looking. I could send my kid to private school and hope that is the answer to our prayers. I could home school him. I could do a number of things. The fact is all kids not just mine deserve a safe and healthy environment to learn and grow in. I am a tax payer. I deserve for that school to be the public one in our town. What I do know is there is power in numbers. Stand up. Speak up. Be heard. If we stand together we won't be broken.
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