You won't always win

Here is how it went down. Friday night. Aka "family fun night". We eat something fun. Like a make your own pizza kinda deal. The kids get to pick out their favorite snack. And we "play" a board game of Aidan's choosing. "Play" I use quotes because me and my husband find a strategic way to play so that we don't just slaughter the kids. We don't just let them win. But I wouldn't say we are playing either. Aidan ALWAYS wants to start with Jenga. It NEVER goes well. Ever. Seark likes to hog the pieces and build his own thing and gets very upset if he can't do that. So much that I bought a second Jenga set so that Seark could be included... while doing his own thing? It is what it is. Anyway the object of the game is to stack these wooden blocks. Removing them one by one until someone knocks the stack over. The person to knock the stack over is the sore loser... I mean loser. I mean Aidan but he isn't a loser. Because if he was that would mean that we were winners and well he just can't handle that. So when Aidan becomes bored of knocking the stack over and "completing" the game we get to move on.

Next Aidan picks some comic super hero board game. The object is to safely make your way through the board. Whoever gets to the end first wins. You spin a wheel which tells you a color to advance to. Some spaces have special powers. If you land on a spot that has a special power that coincides with yours you can use it to try to knock other players out of your way. If you are successful that player has to start over. I always choose batman. His special power is that he can launch a batarang. I have excellent aim but usually make an effort to not hit Aidan. However on this night after too many "in your face" uttered by him I decided to actually play. Aidan is a spot away from winning. A spot away from one more "in your face". One spot. I spin. I land on the batarang. I aim.... and blast Aidan's tiny cardboard Joker off the dining room table. I could have jumped up and yelled "in your face" just like he had been doing for the better part of the night. And I might have. If he didn't totally lose his shit. He started crying. Flipped the game over. Called me cheater. Went in the living room tears streaming down his face and refused to talk to me. Apparently if Aidan is not winning it is "family not so fun night".

So why didn't I just let him win? Why didn't I just knock my husbands guy out for the nine hundredth time and just call it a night? No. I had to knock Aidan's guy out. And just to be clear I didn't make him lose. The game wasn't over. He had plenty of time to catch up and still win. But if it wasn't an easy in your face win he wasn't interested. So while I love him to pieces and love to see him feeling like a winner what am I teaching him? I want him to learn to enjoy the game no matter the out come. Clearly that wasn't going to be a lesson he learned tonight. I want him to know what it feels like to earn a win not have it handed to you. Again not a feeling he would experience on this particular night. More importantly I want him to know...

Winning is awesome. But it is not going to happen all the time. That's okay. Losing sometimes makes winning on occasion that much sweeter. Winning, coming in first doesn't necessarily mean you are the best. It means you did your best and you came out on top... this time. Not winning. Not coming in first or even placing at all doesn't mean you lost. It means you tried your best but next time you have to try harder. That's why they say practice makes perfect. And if you love it whatever it is you should practice. You should always want to fine tune your skills whether its sports or music or art. It doesn't matter. If you love it. Do it. And not because you want to be a winner. Don't determine your worth by the number of trophies you can win. You will always be worth it. Determine what you love and go for it... until you come out on top. Don't be discourage by the number of times you have to try. Your ability to pick yourself up. Dust it off and do it all over again... that will say so much more about you. So no I didn't let you win. And at the moment that sucks. You will get over it. You will get it. Then you will figure out how to do better and that's what I can't wait to see.