what you should know about boys

Tonight I went to Trader Joe's... with out any of my kids. Kind of like a mini vacation. I took my time. Literally. I took as much time as one possibly could to buy groceries. Unless one is my father in law. He could have totally taken longer. I read labels. I even got on a longer line. While I waited I checked Facebook. It was really quite pleasant. As pleasant as grocery shopping can be. When I finally got to the register the cashier commented on how full my cart was. Jokingly said you must be feeding an army. Sort of... I told her. I have three boys at home. To which she replied... "Ugh just couldn't get that girl huh?" Grrrr comments like that drive me NUTS!!!! But I just smile and say ya get what ya get. Then she asked if I was done having children... I almost felt inclined to explain the definition of small talk to her. Small talk (noun) polite conversation about unimportant matters. Whether or not I want expand my family... for me... would not fall under the category of small talk. Conversations held in grocery stores should revolve around things like "oh those mango's you picked look delicious" or "I think we are getting rain tonight". That is it. Light. Small. Talk.

When I didn't really answer her question she said "If you were promised a girl would you go ahead and have another baby?"

The woman behind me over heard this conversation and added that she had four boys all just a little over a year apart. Determined to have a girl she waited 5 years and tried again. She waited until the baby was born to find out the gender. And in her words... bawled my eyes to find out I had yet another boy! So she said to me I know how you feel and I don't recommend having another baby in hopes that it is a girl. It was quite devastating for me to have another boy. But you make the best of it and move on right? That is actually what she said.

I was dumbfounded. I honestly don't even remember if I added anything else at all. All I could think was how sad... and not for her but for her baby. I wondered how many times she had told that story. Hoping never in front of her children. This is what I wish I would have said to her and the cashier.

I have no idea what the future holds for me. The promise of a girl wouldn't sway me. The promise of an easy pregnancy. Wonderful delivery. And healthy baby certainly would. A baby is big decision and a life long commitment regardless the gender. So no I would never just go ahead and have another baby. And you don't know how I feel at all. Devastating is an awful way to describe the news that you have just given birth to a perfectly healthy baby.... boy. Do you know how many people would die for that opportunity.  I feel blessed. Blessed beyond what I ever imagined. Blessed with three amazing. Happy. Healthy. Boys.

And for anyone that doesn't already know this. Little boys are awesome. Amazing in fact. They are fun. And incredibly funny. They will do things for a good laugh that little girls would never dream of because they aren't born knowing the secret hilarity of a fart at the perfect inappropriate moment like little boys. They are dirty and messy. Which from the outside looks like a problem. From the inside you know it's not. Little boys teach you to let go and find the joy in things like mud pies and crayon masterpieces on your living room walls. And sweet. Little boys are so sweet. Like sweeter than sugar and spice and everything nice. More like melt your heart sweet. Did I mention they are super snuggly and they adore their mama. They are sensitive and beautiful and brilliant and they will make you love being a mother... their mother.... more than you can find the words to explain.

I know... I know your thinking but you can't buy them cute little dresses and put matching bows in their hair. And you most likely will never have a princess tea party or day at the spa with them. But I promise you little boys are more than noise and dirt. More than bugs and trucks. So don't be disappointed when you find out that your first, second, or even third little bundle happens to be a boy. Because you will always be their super hero and the only things that would be devastating is if you miss out on your opportunity to be cooler than spider man because you were wishing for a little girl.