The 72 sisters I have never met

I have 72 sisters that I have never met... kind of.... I'll explain.

We always hear about the mommy wars. There are hundreds maybe thousands of articles and blogs... oh the blogs go on literally forever about the formula feeder vs. the breast feeder. The pro vaxxers and the anti vaxxers. The great debate over whether circumcision is a parents right or a human rights issue. To co- sleep or cry it out. If natural birth gives you bragging rights over those that just couldn't go that route for what ever reason. We all stand somewhere and given an uncensored platform such as Facebook it is not unlikely for an innocent request for advice from some unsuspecting mom new to game to be the fuel that reignites the fire that will turn the "gentle" parent into a venom spewing monster.

Us moms we know it all... until we don't. And at some point we will all find our selves in unfamiliar territory even if it is our third baby. In March of 2013 I found myself there. Unfamiliar territory. I had a miscarriage a few months before. And although I held that too tiny baby in the palm of my hand I could not escape the feeling of being pregnant. I thought my mind and hormones were messing with me. I kept saying to my husband this is a night mare I know I can not be pregnant but why do I still feel like I AM! I called the doctor (several times) and he assured it was just left over hormones and everything would return to normal in no time. But it didn't. Convinced that my pregnancy symptoms were not just wishful thinking I took another test... and with in seconds... +! Oh. My. God. A positive pregnancy test. Could it be?

I called the doctor again... I am sure driving him as nuts as I felt. My excitement came to screeching halt when I heard him say... I assure it is left over hormones. Come in for a blood test and we will see what is going on." And so I went in. And then I waited. They love to make you wait. The phone finally rang and all they could tell me was that I needed another blood test. So I went in. And then I waited. A few hours later the doctor himself called and said "meet me at the hospital as soon as possible. You need an ultrasound and possibly a D&C... like today." Not at all what I was expecting or hoping to hear. I left Seark with my father in law and rushed to the hospital.

The technician did my ultra sound in complete silence. And then I waited. The doctor came in and turned the screen towards me and there he was. The silence made me apprehensive. I didn't know what to think... was there something wrong? Would this pregnancy end just like the last one? I listened to the dr and nurse discuss the uncertainty and question the viability... and all I could do was... tune them out and pray. Dear God... let this be ok. Just this one time let this be ok. I cant take any more heart ache so please just let this baby stay.

I went home. Unsure if I had happy or sad new to share. And I would have to wait over a week find out. I went in 10 days later for another ultrasound and more blood work. And then again. Finally I heard what I was I was dying to be told... "I don't know how it is possible but it seems you are about 13 weeks along with a healthy baby... boy.

I was over joyed and absolutely terrified. Pregnancy after loss feels different. Scary. I wanted to talk to women that could relate. Someone that had been here before. Someone who was gonna say "its gonna be okay." Because it had been for them. So I went on the "Baby Bump" app on my phone... cause well they have a group for just about every situation. If you want to witness the mommy wars at their finest join one of them. Complete anonymity + a surge in hormones + hot topics= a bunch of mean girls with  absolutely no restraint. Name calling... snap judgments... insults galore.

With no expecting friends at the time... and all the pregnancy forum apps proving to be a waste of time and patience I started the Facebook group called October Mommies. A group only for women expecting a baby in October of 2013. With in days there were over 200 members! Of course in a group that large... composed of highly emotional women from all walks of life there is bound to be conflicting personalities and differences of opinions. So the rules were made clear... if you couldn't play nice you couldn't stay. For awhile it seemed like it would never work. Maybe women in general are just not nice to one another.

Over time conflicts grew and group dwindled... but what remained... I wouldn't even know what else to call these girls except for the 72 sisters I have never met.

We range in age from barely 20 to nearing 40. For many they are experiencing the joys of mother hood for the first time and other like me are on their 3rd baby... or 4th, 5th, 6th, even 7th! There are moms on opposite sides of the country and even the world. Of the 50 states we have moms in 24 of them. A handful in California, New Jersey and anywhere in between. Some reside in Canada. One in England. 2 in Australia and 1 in New Zealand! And the best thing about that is with the different time zones... there is always someone available to talk to... when I am up at 2 am feeding Ry and wondering what that strange rash is he suddenly has 9 times out of 10 I can post in the group and get an almost immediate response from someone that is just preparing dinner in another part of the world.

The group is about even with the ratio of stay at home moms and working moms. And their  professions vary. There is Jessica who operates and directs her own daycare & pre school that she started up shortly after her first baby Luke was born. Alyssa who is a social worker interviewing and assessing families that are applying to adopt or foster a child. Laci who is a foster mom. She has opened her home to 116 children in need. Adopting 3 girls. And finally giving birth to her first born son Levi... who is one of our October babies. I have to say there is no competition between the working moms and the stay at home moms. In this group we get it that we are all in it together... doing our best. Whatever that means for our family.

There are a handful of military wives and those that have served themselves. They have been a privilege to get to know. It is easy to forget how much some sacrifice on a daily basis for the simple freedoms we enjoy everyday. I am amazed by these women that hold it down at home while the one they love is out there... in harms way... It is impossible to not admire their strength, their love and loyalty. They share with us their everyday struggles and let us be a part of their joy when their family is back together again.

We have shared everything and I mean everything.... we have shared pictures of our growing bellies and the babies that were inside them. Commiserated about the abundance of stretch marks and lack sex. Shared the very personal and private details of our lives that lead us to where we are in this very moment.

Since the group formed in the early stages of pregnancy we have literally been there for each other through it all. We were all there to pray when our first October baby decided October was too far away. Sky'ler Marie made her unexpected way into the world in the early hours of the morning on June 19th. I still remember her mom posting in the group that she had been born. I had never known a baby born so early or so tiny or so beautiful.

Just a few weeks later another impatient October baby was here. A world away in New Zealand  Marley was born on July 30th. And again as a group we prayed. And by the grace of God our prayers were heard and our very early October babies defied the odds.

As the summer came to an end we all were getting anxious to have the rest of our babies here. By the end of September it seemed like every other day there was a new baby, a new life to be celebrated on my Facebook news feed. Some days brought more than one joyful announcement. Our group wall was flooded with pictures of exhausted moms, proud dads, and breathtakingly beautiful babies... so many beautiful babies. It was overwhelming. So much joy... shared. So many blessings... shared. So many new beginnings. So many happy tears.

So we went from sharing sonogram pictures to new born photos. The early bonds that were formed became stronger by the day. We checked in daily to exchange the details of our lives that were turned upside down. Funny stories about the antics of jealous siblings and venting about obnoxious in laws. Some one was always there to answer a question whether it be about breastfeeding or is this normal? We have been there to hold each other up when it felt like everything else was falling apart. With encouraging words during hard time. And laughter and love in the good times. If you ask any of the girls what this group has meant to them they will tell you... Support. Sisterhood. Friendship. It is so much more than a Facebook group... our lives have become so intertwined all because of these tiny miracles that have brought us together.

I have 72 sisters... most I have never met. They are diverse. From different cultures and backgrounds. Bring different things to the table and I wouldn't know what to do with out them.