Spread awareness

You know the feeling when you get devastating news? That air sucked out of your lungs. Hard to breathe. Pain in your chest. Sick to your stomach feeling? For a moment the world literally stops spinning and you want it to. The sadness. The despair you feel is so heavy it might just suffocate you because you just don't have the means to lift it. Everything else in your life might be perfect. But in this grief stricken moment you are blinded by pain. A feeling so intense it is all consuming. At some point most of us have felt it... if we are lucky for only a moment.

Imagine living every single day of your life stuck in that moment with only brief sparks happiness that come far and few between. Beautiful brilliant bursts of light that color the darkness but fade as fast as fireworks on the fourth of July. Can anyone really live like that? Sadly more people than you would think actually do. According to ADAA (American Depression and Anxiety Association) depression is the leading cause of disability for ages ranging from 15-44. Currently there are 14.8 million adults in the US living with major depression. Death by suicide occurs once every 16.2 minutes says the CDC (center for disease control) leaving an estimated 4.5 million suicide survivors to carry on with life affected by such tragedy.

Depression is as real as cancer. It is a disease of the mind that although often treatable is incurable. Suicide is not a choice. Just like a heart patient may die from a heart attack even after taking every preventive measure... a person suffering from severe depression my take their own life after seeking professional help and taking every precaution advised. Yet when someone dies from a heart attack we don't call them selfish because they ate that bacon cheeseburger even though they knew the risks. Depression is so largely misunderstood.

Robin Williams among countless others was not selfish. Was NOT a coward. He was genius plagued so deeply by this disease that even the joy he so freely gave to others could not touch the sadness he carried with in. He put up one hell of fight. Battling demons most can't imagine hidden by that smile on his face. Living a hell that most can't understand all while making the world laugh. I don't know that he could have been more selfless. More brave. It is a shame that we live a world that is so quick to judge. Unable and unwilling to feel compassion for what they don't understand.

I will remember Robin Williams for the comic genius that he was. A personality larger than life. The gift of laughter that he gave so many. I will honor him by spreading awareness. In hopes for better understanding and little more compassion towards those that also suffer.

For more information and ways to help visit SAVE.org
If you are in crisis there is help 1-800-273-8255

Just put a band aid on it

Kids go through phases. Some go through the "I don't want to bathe" phase. The "all I will eat is chicken nuggets" phase. Seark went through the "all I can wear on my feet is crocs" phase. He has out grown that and moved on to the "I need to wear a band aid across my forehead" phase. Not just any band aid. A hot pink and purple Dora and Boots band aid. He has no boo boo. It is not covering or hiding anything. Nonetheless he "needs" to wear this band aid. Everywhere we go people ask him what happened. He says nothing just rubs his band aid. They ask me and sometimes I lie just because it's easier to say he bumped his head.
We were on our way to dinner tonight and my husband wanted Seark to take the band aid off before we got to the restaurant. He asked him nicely. He bribed him, begged him, and threatened him. Seark much like his mama is unfortunately not easily persuaded when he has his mind made up about something. He never even once considered taking it off. My husband brought him over to the mirror and said look… it looks ridiculous. When you get home you can put a new one on. You don't want to look like that when we go out, do you? Seark being a boy of few words just nodded yes. Not yes we can take it off and put a new one on later. Yes I want to look like this when we go out.
My husband kept asking me to take it off of him. Tell him he would get in trouble if he didn't. I of course told my husband no. The band aid doesn't bother me. If he wants to wear it for the next month it won't bother me. I don't care what other people think. I like that Seark doesn't either. There is a very finite amount of time in our lives that we get to be our self… unhindered. A small window when we do and look how we want no matter how ridiculous because the idea of conformity is still foreign. Why rush that? In a few years Seark will be in school. Every day he will have to wear a uniform. He will be consciously aware that you need to take into consideration the opinions of others of you want to fit in. In gaining that awareness he will lose a little of what makes him, well him. As much as that is not what I want for any of my kids it is a fact of life. Aidan went through a cowboy boot wearing phase. If his friends didn't think they were so ridiculous I bet he would still wear them. At some point the want to be accepted trumps our need for individuality. In a perfect world there would be no fitting in. There would be acceptance. I know that probably sounds crazy to some but just imagine if everyone was free to be exactly what they wanted to without fear of being ostracized because they are too "out there". The world may be a little stranger but I bet a lot more interesting and a lot happier. I hope that in some way, someday I can help my kids find a way to express themselves exactly the way they want to in a world full of judgments'. If nothing else they will always know I accept them just as they are hot pink band aids, cow boy boots and all.