Project Kindness...

Life is short. Often too short. It can be complicated and difficult. Overwhelming at times with things that might not even matter when it comes down to it. Every day there is a lot to do. A lot to take in. I don't watch the news anymore because the sadness that streams from my TV is just too much. I am very much a positive and optimistic person but often find myself wondering where is the good? The kindness? The humanity? It is easy for it to get lost in this age of information over load... but it is still there... I promise you. There are still people reaching out... trying to help... easing the burden that others carry.

I am not one those that believe everything happens for a reason. Not really at all. Good things happen to undeserving people and bad things happen to the most decent kind hearted souls... no rhyme or reason. An asshole will hit the lottery while someone possessing the qualities of Mother Theresa will go hungry in order to give to another. It just is the way it is. I do however believe that all the people we meet are put on our path for a purpose. Most we won't recognize immediately... if ever but I am sure that no encounter is by chance.

I also believe that kindness even one small act has the power to set off a chain reaction of infinite kindness. I believe that kindness in others is what inspires us to be kinder ourselves. Maybe that is why I am so inspired by Hayden's Heart. There are so many ungrateful unkind people... too many. So many that are too caught up in themselves to see what they could do for anyone else. Then there are people like Ady and Rob that have been through hell and back... they live with a an ache in their heart that most can't imagine... and yet they find it in themselves to devote their time to giving to others. If you ask them about their foundation they will tell you about Hayden of course because it all started with him and then about all of the families they have directly helped.  And I always wonder if they know really what an impact they have on others. I wonder if they are aware of just how much better the world is because of their work. How many people have consciously become more thoughtful, more generous, more kind because of their baby and what they do in his name. Visit www.haydensheart.blogspot.com to read more about Hayden and the foundation. It just might inspire you to do something good.

Through Hayden's Heart I learned of Xavier Ross and his heart story. And when you read stories about families with children the age of yours it is hard to not imagine yourself in their shoes... even though that is pretty impossible. I have no idea what it is like to have a child with CHD. I have never spent any length of time in the hospital with my kids. I can't imagine what it is like as a mom to have to divide your time between children because one is not well enough to come home. I can't even begin to comprehend the stress and worry she must feel over her sons health and the heart ache over missing time with her baby at home... or the million other stressors that accompany their current situation. I wanted to do something even if small.... just something. So I did the one thing I know how to and held a fundraiser that lasted only a few days. A raffle. $10 a spot for the chance to win a prize. I still can't believe that in less than a week just through Facebook... friends that don't even know the Ross family gave a total of $770.00 Each one that donated renewed my hope that people still are kind just for the sake of being kind. My friend Jeff who runs Secaucus Martial Arts Center gave me $50 alone and then said if I win just give extra money to the family you are collecting for I don't need the prize. Several other friends said the same. I just want everyone who gave to know that their kindness and generosity is so appreciated and it does make a difference.

At an event for Hayden's heart about two years ago I won a necklace which I shortly after lost when the chain broke and necklace came off with out my realizing. So I contacted the Lynn Seyler who had donated the necklace to see how I could get another one like it and after speaking to her we became friends. Since then Lynn gave birth to her sweet baby Cameron who was born premature. Which has lead her to start her own charity called Cameron's Care Packages which she uses to raise money in order to give care packages to families with premies in the NICU. They only need $535.00 more to fill all of the packages they want to donate on March 2nd. http://gofundme.com/ahbgwk is the link you can use if you would like to help them reach their goal.

Then there is my best friend Melissa who is crazy enough to shave her head in order to raise money for finding a cure to childhood cancers! Seriously she is shaving her head in a few days! Www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/743415/2015 is the link if you want to check it out.

So what is the point to all of this? There really is so much good in the world and I am especially thankful that I seem to surrounded by it. There are so many people I personally know doing remarkable things and I just want all of them to know how much they have all inspired me. Ady and Rob with their tireless dedication to helping others. Lynn who is just getting started with all of the amazing things I know she will be doing. Melissa who is always willing to help, give, or shave her head.

And it is not just all about how much financial help you can give... I am in awe of my friend Brianna who is currently carrying twins as a surrogate. Lacy who has opened her home to yet another baby that she is fostering not to mention the three girls she has adopted and that she has her hands full with a very active toddler.

Kindness does not always come in grand gestures either... it really is the little things... that we pass on... that we carry with us. The smile that brightens our day. The gentle hand that holds the door. The compliment that someone needed to hear. Kindness is not meant to squandered. Don't save it for another day. Give away as much as you can and you will see the world around you change right before your eyes. So I leave you with one last request check out Project Kindness Counts on Facebook and share your kindness maybe something you have done for some one else or a kindness shown to you... you never know who will read it and be moved to pay it forward.

HAYDEN... THE HUMAN HEART... AND SEVENLY

Having a baby is THE most exciting wonderfully terrifying emotional roller coaster a woman will ever be on. 9 months of all the joy and fear you never knew you could feel centered around all the hopes and dreams you have developing into that little bundle that will be your everything. Ask any mom about the defining moments of her pregnancy... of her life and she will most likely tell you about the first time she heard the sweet muffled rhythmic beat of her babies heart.

The beat of a heart... the beginning of life itself. At a mere 18 days after conception... before anything else... a very basic heart begins to beat. Looking like nothing more than a flicker on a screen. Life has begun. It is the confirmation we desperately seek after seeing those positive lines on a pregnancy test that indeed our dreams are about to come true. It is where the journey begins. The bond between a mother and her child. The love. The inexplicable connectedness. Forever intertwined... and it all started with the beat of a heart.

September 16, 2011 my friend Ady first heard her baby Hayden's heart beat. The human heart  is nothing short of amazing. I mean really amazing. Did you know that in an average life span the heart will beat 2.5 billion times... 2.5 BILLION. The heart is the single hardest working muscle in the body... supplying blood to almost all of the body's 75 trillion cells. That sound... you know the thump thump sound you hear when you listen to the heart that is actually the four chambers of the heart at work. So what if you only have 2 chambers working the way they should?

Half way through the pregnancy with Hayden at a visit where you normally find out the big news... if its a boy or a girl... Ady learned that Hayden had something called Hypoplastic left heart syndrome. Essentially a small underdeveloped left side of the heart.

 Ady and her husband Rob turned their lives upside down researching, learning, and seeking out the best possible care for their baby with half a heart. Ready to fight right along side their warrior and give him the absolute best of everything. Modern medicine and the discoveries made trough technological advances are no doubt a mind blowing god send but when it comes to the matters of the heart... well we have all heard about the power of prayer. And so the Facebook "Prayer page for baby Hayden" was created. And if prayer alone could work a miracle Hayden would have most certainly gotten his. Thousands of people started following his journey... and praying for sweet Hayden.

On 3/12/12 Hayden Jeter Dorsett made his way into the world. Fiery red hair. The definition of baby blue eyes. 8 pounds 1 ounce of pure heavenly sweetness. Only 4 days later he headed in for his first open heart surgery. Thousands of people praying. Waiting for updates. Reading about his life... his journey... his heart. As time passed thousands of people continued to pray, watch Hayden grow, and who could help but fall in love. See that is Hayden the affect. You could not help but fall in love. His smile contagious. His eyes magnetic. His story... took hold of your heart. His purpose... bigger than anyone could imagine.

Hayden Jeter Dorsett 3/12/12 - 8/16/12 the Facebook update that would make 20,000 + hearts ache. The heart that touched so many stopped beating. But that is not where the story of Hayden's Heart ends.... not even close. With shattered hearts Ady and Rob started the foundation that is their sons legacy. Hayden's Heart Inc.

Each year over 1 million babies world wide are born with some form of CHD (congenital heart disease) Of those 1 million... 100,000 will not live to see their first birthday. More than 50% percent of these babies will require at least 1 invasive heart surgery in their life time. The cost of which is astronomical. In patient surgery to repair CHD exceeds 2 billion dollars a year.

The mission of Hayden's Heart Inc. is simple... spread CHD awareness... help ease the financial burden for other heart families... keep the memory of Hayden alive. In 2 short years the foundation has raised over $100,000 and financially helped over 20 families. They also send care packages to the cardiac unit at CHOP the place where Hayden's life began. Grieving hearts is another branch of the Hayden's Heart Inc. that sends care packages to other heart families who have also lost their heart warriors.

The heart is truly amazing. Amazing how one heart could touch so many. Amazing how with broken hearts his mom and dad could help so many others. Hayden's Heart was on a mission... in 5 months and 4 days on this earth his little heart generated more love that most can imagine. His life, his heart, has inspired so much needed goodness in this world and will continue to do so. The foundation that is his legacy has already done so much... and it all started with the beat of a heart. Hayden's heart...

This week is CHD Awareness week and Hayden's Heart Inc. has been chosen to partner with the company Sevenly. For every purchase made through their site this week $7 will be donated to Hayden's Heart Inc. Please head over to www.Sevenly.org . Shop for a cause. Spread some CHD awareness. Be a part Hayden's Heart <3

You can read more about Hayden at haydensheart.BlogSpot.com
or visit haydensheart.org

you can also find out about all upcoming events and fundraisers on Facebook through the Hayden's Heart Page.

and don't forget to check out www.sevenly.org and support the Hayden's Heart campaign taking place this week!

Why Hayden's Heart...

Two years ago or I guess more already I came across a Facebook page called Prayer Page for Baby Hayden. It showed up in my news feed often because friends of mine had already liked the page. I skimmed past it probably a dozen times or more before ever actually clicking on it to see what exactly it was about. I rarely ever "liked" pages but this one was different. The profile picture was the sweetest orange haired baby I had ever seen. Knowing it was a prayer page I was hesitant to find out more because I knew the story behind that beautiful babe was probably a heart breaking one. But he was oh so beautiful and even in a picture his eyes were magnetic. His smile... pure joy. And so I had to know why was this precious little one in need of prayers.

This was June 2012. I clicked the link. Read the most current post and then read backwards to the very beginning.  The journey of Hayden Jeter Dorsett and his family. Born with Hypoblastic Left Heart Syndrome. A rare congenital heart defect where the left ventricle of the heart is  severely underdeveloped. This sweet baby living with only half a heart.

"Prayer Page for Baby Hayden" was started before Hayden was here. Diagnosed with this rare condition while still safe in his mama's belly... Ady, Hayden's mother made this page for the only thing she knew would help other than modern medicine and a miracle... the power of prayer. Never asking for more than anything than prayer. And there were plenty of people praying for this babe. Hayden's page has over 20,000 followers.

I read all the posts. Hundreds of them. Happy ones. Sad ones. Hopeful posts. Disheartened posts. Always ever asking for one thing "Please pray for Hayden". And so I did. I found myself thinking about and praying for Hayden and his family often. We included Hayden's name in the nightly prayers that my oldest son said. Hayden quickly became a household name. I was so invested in his story. Felt in someway connected to his mother even though we had never met. Our lives were so similar. Me and her are about the same age. Living only minutes away from one another. Both had two little boys close in age. The only thing that separated us was that her baby had half a heart. That one thing made a world of difference. A difference that I could not begin to imagine. And so I did the only thing I could I kept Hayden in our thoughts and prayers and through that he made his way into our hearts.

I kept up with his page. Always looking for updates. Always hopeful. For days there was nothing. I prayed that meant there was nothing to report. Still nothing... and then "Hayden Jeter Dorsett 3/12/12 - 8/16/12". I read that and literally gasped. I stared at the screen with tears rolling down my cheeks. Weeping for a baby I never met. I felt a pain deep in my chest and couldn't even bear to think of what state his mother must be in. I know from tragedy with in my own family that there are somethings that change you forever. Change the dynamic of your family. The course of your life. Some things are so sad there are no words for them.

For days, weeks, I could not stop thinking about Hayden and his mom. Could not stop thinking about how similar our lives were and how different they would now forever be. I was plagued by the thought that there was nothing that made our circumstances so different but random misguided chance. I could have easily been her.

I racked my brain for some reasonable gesture, some sort of kindness or comfort that I could offer her grieving heart. But what? I knew there was nothing that I could ever do. But doing nothing wasn't an option. One day in the mall I came across a necklace in the shape of a heart with a tiny pearl just sitting in the middle. I bought it and decided that even though I could not make things better I could let this heartbroken mom know she wasn't alone. Let her know that her baby wouldn't be forgotten. Let her know that Hayden would always been in our heart. His life had touched ours and I know thousands of others.

It is said that no one is truly gone until the last person has spoken their name. If that is true Ady has no need to worry about her sweet Hayden being forgotten. Since Hayden's passing his family has set up a foundation in his name called "Hayden's Heart". It is a non profit 501c3 charity dedicated to keeping Hayden's memory alive. Raising CHD awareness. And helping other heart families with their medical and travel expenses.

I told my husband about the necklace and that I was going to stop by Ady's house to give it to her. He looked at me like I had completely lost my mind. "Go to her house?! Are you nuts? You don't know them! You can't just ring her bell and be like here's a necklace for you!" But that is kinda what I did. I felt like I needed to meet her. In person. Hear about her beautiful babe first hand. After all he had a significant impact on my life. In so many ways... she needed to know that.  Of course I had been reading their story for months and as much as I felt like I knew them she had no idea who I was. Nonetheless she opened her door. And invited me in. I don't know if it was the mom bond or what but I felt like we were instantly friends... and have been since.

I can not say enough good things about the Dorsett family. They have done so much good for so many others. Touched so many lives. Simply because Hayden lived. I know that more than anything Ady wishes Hayden was just like every other baby with a whole heart known only by his family and friends... and while if I could grant anyone just one wish it would for sure be just that... but Hayden, he wasn't like every other baby. Hayden was a angel among us with big big plans. Bigger than anyone could imagine and his mom. Well she isn't just any mom. She is simply amazing. I know she doesn't see herself as a strong person... rather just doing the only thing she can to get through this new life... but she is a hero to so many. Hayden being her number one fan. She and her husband have done so much good in his name I wouldn't even know where to begin... so check them out for yourself at haydensheart.org or on facebook at Hayden's Heart. Read Hayden's story and fall in love with the baby that continues to change the world at Prayer Page for Baby Hayden also on facebook.

If you would like to make a difference you can make a one time donation Hayden's Heart or keep up with them and participate in any of their fabulous events. In an effort to spread more CHD awareness they are on a mission to get featured on #theellenshow so if you feel so inclined send her an email and help them get there.