It is safe to that things rarely ever go as planned. Like they never go as planned. Or even close to the way I envision them. When we first met I had all these plans for me and you and all the things that we would do. The places we would go and the secrets we would share. Surely we would be best of friends.
And for awhile... years... it felt like we were. We talked night and day. Always had a good time together. I couldn't imagine that we ever wouldn't.
And don't get me wrong. There isn't anyone else that I would rather spend my time with. No one else that could fill your place. But I am sorry I am not your best friend.
You see I had the best intentions... for us... and this relationship but it just isn't working out.
I hope I will always be the person you confide in. I will keep every secret you ever tell me. And you wont ever have to worry that anything you say would go beyond the conversations we have.
I pray that when there is a new adventure you want to embark on I am the person you want to take along. I would go anywhere with you... for you. And I do mean anywhere.
When you need advice I will be here for you. With an open door and open arms. Don't ever hesitate to call me.
In years to come when you are reminiscing about the good ole' days I hope your fondest memories are the ones you made with me.
I will always be your biggest cheerleader. Your rock. Your shoulder to cry on. Your safe place. I just can't be your best friend.
And there will be moments when it is hard for me to remember that but I will have to because of all the things you need me to be... your friend is last on the list. At least for now.
The realization of this cuts like a knife and I know you cant understand it today but I hope someday you will.
I wish you knew how much I would like to say yes to every thing you ever ask for. I just can't. It would be so much easier and you would like me so much more.
I wish I did not have to teach you lessons and make you understand the things you would rather not know. Unfortunately it is my job.
I wish I could never hear the sound of your door slamming again, the words I hate you fall from your mouth, I wish I could turn a blind eye to the glaring look you give me at the dinner table when I won't let you have your way... but I can't.
I wish you knew how much it hurts. The end of this friendship. But the responsibilities I have because I am your mom far outweigh the desire I have to be your friend. Just know none of this changes my love for you. In 30 years from now when you have a family of your own you will know just how much love there was to choose the right thing over the easy one.
