Your having ANOTHER baby!
ANOTHER BOY... well healthy is the important thing right?
Your done now... aren't you?
You my darling are not JUST ANOTHER baby. NOT JUST ANOTHER boy. Not the failed attempt in an effort to have a girl. You did not make me throw my hands up and say now I am done.
NO not another baby... another life changing, momentous decision. And never JUST A BABY. Because truthfully they are only a baby for such a short time. A blink. A time so brief it is here and gone before you can fully catch your breath and take in the fact that you... the little girl that played dress up, the one that dreamed of being an artist, grew up to be the woman that loved a man so deeply the only thing that seemed right was to multiply that love and make a family... I (we) made you. Not just another but the only one that was meant for us.
Another implies you could have been one of any... but your not. When I think of all of the things that had to come together... like stars colliding from light years away... I know that the miracle that is you was sent just for me. A little ball of fire that could not wait to leap into my arms and hold my heart.
Another boy. In my wildest dreams there is nothing that could make you more perfect. Your dreamy blue eyes would not be any more beautiful if they belonged to girl. The curls that hug your neck would not be any softer if I could put a pink bow in your hair. Your smile could not be any sweeter. My love for you would not change if your anatomy was any different.
Now that we have you... we are not done, we are complete. You have made my already full heart over flow. Having the privilege of watching you grow I see all you have added to my life, to this family. You are Aiden's little buddy, Seark's best friend, and Daddy's little helper. And to me... just like your brothers you are the air that I breathe. I watch you take on each little task with such determination and think to myself watch out world here he comes... but not yet. I want to keep you to myself as long as I can. My tiny tornado... a little whirlwind of mess, and noise, and far too many toys... and oh, so much joy.
Rylan James... your are one of the greatest loves of my life... and today we celebrate you! Happy 2nd Birthday Baby!
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Life Expectancy
"Turtles have a life expectancy of 150 years." What's that mean mom?
It means that is how long you could expect a turtle to live.
Is that a long time? How do they know that?
It is a very long time. They know based on the life span of the average turtle.
Do dogs have a life expectancy?
Yes... but it depends on the breed. The size. How well the dog was taken care of.
So how long do you expect our dogs to live?
A long time... I hope.
Like 150 years?
Unfortunately no. Dogs don't live quite that long.
We walked the rest of the zoo and there was no more mention of life expectancy. Thankfully.
A day or two later Aidan asked if I remembered the day we found a dead baby turtle on the river walk. I did. He was so tiny. One of the smallest turtles I had ever seen. "Why didn't he live to be 150? I mean that is supposed to be how long they live right?"
I wanted to give him an honest answer. But not one that would scare him. Obviously he'd done a lot of thinking about this whole life expectancy thing.
Well sometimes things happen that are out of the ordinary. And life just doesn't go as expected. Lots of things factor into how long something will live. I don't know much about turtles. So I don't know what happened to him... but I remember he was up on the bridge and maybe he just couldn't get back to where he needed to be and went with out food and water for too long. Babies are fragile and need more care. I think he was just too little and wandered too far.
Do humans have a life expectancy too?
(My heart sank. Growing up sucks... in so many ways. And there is no good way to have a conversation about death with your little boy. )
Yes. They do. Every living thing does. Even trees and flowers. Something's are only here for a season. Or a few days... like a house fly. ( I was trying to deflect... it wasn't working)
How long do humans live?
It depends.
Well look it up. I want to know.
78.8 years is what google says.
What?! That can't be right! Turtles can live to 150... that's... that's... that's half the life of a turtle! And dad is already 40... and Pop Pop is 70! 78 years?! That's all we get?!
No. That's not all we get. Sometimes we get longer. Much longer like closer to 100. And we also get so much more than time. There is so much more to life than days on a calendar and minutes on a clock.
Like what?
Oh baby... so much I don't even know where to begin cause truthfully your gonna just have to experience it yourself. You have so much to learn. For that matter so do I. You know that hunger you feel right now... that desire to know more? Don't ever lose that. Always keep your mind open and your eyes sharp. There is truly something new to learn everyday as long as you are willing.
There are adventures out there with your name written all over them but you wont know what they are until they are right in front of you. And then you have to be willing to leap. Let faith (and common sense) guide you. Don't ever pass by the opportunity to expand your horizons. Spend your days exploring the world. Literally even if it is only the small space you occupy at that moment. Take it all in and commit it to memory.
There are so many firsts waiting to happen... your first dance. First kiss. Your first love... and no I am not just talking about relationships. Fall in love.... over and over. Everyday if you can with music, art, language, nature, science, God, and yourself. Find the things that spark a fire in you and run with them. Be passionate about all the things that make you fall in love. Love hard. And you will find if it is indeed love it will never leave you.
There will be extraordinary days... like milestone birthdays. Getting your license. Graduations. Your wedding day. Maybe even a day when you bring a child of your own into this world. And on those days it will feel as if time is standing still just for you... so you can soak up as much of that joy and excitement and love as your heart can possibly hold.
There will be ordinary days... where you do nothing more than catch up on some sleep, and order pizza just so you don't have to cook and clean (or get out of your pajamas)... enjoy those days too because living a full life can be exhausting.
There will be moments of intense joy and extreme sorrow... times where your heart will feel so full and others when you are running on fumes. Appreciate both. Know those feelings are a sign that you are doing something right.
Don't take for granted the simplest of things... the warmth of the sun on your skin, the cool crisp fall air, the sound of the ocean, the love put into a home made meal. Remember to stop. Breathe. And take it all in.
Be as present as you can be. Take advantage of every offer that comes your way. Follow your heart. Quiet your mind. Don't let anything stand between you and happiness. Live your life and don't worry about how long you can expect it to last... just make the most of it and I promise it will be enough.
It means that is how long you could expect a turtle to live.
Is that a long time? How do they know that?
It is a very long time. They know based on the life span of the average turtle.
Do dogs have a life expectancy?
Yes... but it depends on the breed. The size. How well the dog was taken care of.
So how long do you expect our dogs to live?
A long time... I hope.
Like 150 years?
Unfortunately no. Dogs don't live quite that long.
We walked the rest of the zoo and there was no more mention of life expectancy. Thankfully.
A day or two later Aidan asked if I remembered the day we found a dead baby turtle on the river walk. I did. He was so tiny. One of the smallest turtles I had ever seen. "Why didn't he live to be 150? I mean that is supposed to be how long they live right?"
I wanted to give him an honest answer. But not one that would scare him. Obviously he'd done a lot of thinking about this whole life expectancy thing.
Well sometimes things happen that are out of the ordinary. And life just doesn't go as expected. Lots of things factor into how long something will live. I don't know much about turtles. So I don't know what happened to him... but I remember he was up on the bridge and maybe he just couldn't get back to where he needed to be and went with out food and water for too long. Babies are fragile and need more care. I think he was just too little and wandered too far.
Do humans have a life expectancy too?
(My heart sank. Growing up sucks... in so many ways. And there is no good way to have a conversation about death with your little boy. )
Yes. They do. Every living thing does. Even trees and flowers. Something's are only here for a season. Or a few days... like a house fly. ( I was trying to deflect... it wasn't working)
How long do humans live?
It depends.
Well look it up. I want to know.
78.8 years is what google says.
What?! That can't be right! Turtles can live to 150... that's... that's... that's half the life of a turtle! And dad is already 40... and Pop Pop is 70! 78 years?! That's all we get?!
No. That's not all we get. Sometimes we get longer. Much longer like closer to 100. And we also get so much more than time. There is so much more to life than days on a calendar and minutes on a clock.
Like what?
Oh baby... so much I don't even know where to begin cause truthfully your gonna just have to experience it yourself. You have so much to learn. For that matter so do I. You know that hunger you feel right now... that desire to know more? Don't ever lose that. Always keep your mind open and your eyes sharp. There is truly something new to learn everyday as long as you are willing.
There are adventures out there with your name written all over them but you wont know what they are until they are right in front of you. And then you have to be willing to leap. Let faith (and common sense) guide you. Don't ever pass by the opportunity to expand your horizons. Spend your days exploring the world. Literally even if it is only the small space you occupy at that moment. Take it all in and commit it to memory.
There are so many firsts waiting to happen... your first dance. First kiss. Your first love... and no I am not just talking about relationships. Fall in love.... over and over. Everyday if you can with music, art, language, nature, science, God, and yourself. Find the things that spark a fire in you and run with them. Be passionate about all the things that make you fall in love. Love hard. And you will find if it is indeed love it will never leave you.
There will be extraordinary days... like milestone birthdays. Getting your license. Graduations. Your wedding day. Maybe even a day when you bring a child of your own into this world. And on those days it will feel as if time is standing still just for you... so you can soak up as much of that joy and excitement and love as your heart can possibly hold.
There will be ordinary days... where you do nothing more than catch up on some sleep, and order pizza just so you don't have to cook and clean (or get out of your pajamas)... enjoy those days too because living a full life can be exhausting.
There will be moments of intense joy and extreme sorrow... times where your heart will feel so full and others when you are running on fumes. Appreciate both. Know those feelings are a sign that you are doing something right.
Don't take for granted the simplest of things... the warmth of the sun on your skin, the cool crisp fall air, the sound of the ocean, the love put into a home made meal. Remember to stop. Breathe. And take it all in.
Be as present as you can be. Take advantage of every offer that comes your way. Follow your heart. Quiet your mind. Don't let anything stand between you and happiness. Live your life and don't worry about how long you can expect it to last... just make the most of it and I promise it will be enough.
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