Oh shit... my baby... isn't a baby anymore. Oh shit... it's all going to fast! Oh SHIT... is that really a tear running down my cheek! GET IT TOGETHER!
Seark is enjoying his cake and talking about what he wants to do tomorrow. I'm staring right at him. Listening to every word. And not hearing a thing. Lost in my thoughts my mind drifts back to my first "Oh Shit" moment with Seark. When I took a pregnancy test in the bathroom of bagel buffet after getting nauseous from a tuna sandwich. I couldn't take my eyes off that stupid little stick. There is was. Barely visible. So faint. A second pink line. OH SHIT! wait... WHAT?! How could this be? I am one and done! SHIT. I took another test. SHIT. oh what the SHIT?! I took a test every morning for the next week having that Oh shit moment over and over. Disbelief. Panic.
Don't get me wrong I had fantasized about having another baby for the last 5 years... another pregnancy? Not so much. Another delivery? Not at all!
Ready or not...Planned or not.... we were having another baby. Nine months flew by. In a blink he was here. Our unplanned baby arrived via c-section... which was totally planned. The second I laid my eyes on him I knew planned or not... he was the best surprise of my life.
I spent the next few days marveling at him. So tiny. Perfect. I was so completely in love I felt like my heart would burst any minute. And even then I had no idea how much joy this baby boy would bring to our life.
He reminds everyday just how important it is to be yourself. He loves to wear his clothes backwards and inside out... purposely. The way I feel about flip flops is how he feels about crocs... especially the lego ones. He would live in them if I let him. His sense of style is as crazy as his choice in foods. He is the only kid I know that will dip his banana in Ketch Up. It doesn't matter to him what anyone else thinks. He is who he is and it is as simple at that.
Sweet. He is so sweet. He will cry because someone else got hurt. Never misses an opportunity to tell his mama how beautiful he thinks I am. And when it comes to snuggling he is simply the best. He could pass the time content to just cuddle on the couch and watch Doc Mcstuffins.
He possesses a keen sense of humor and has a laugh that is contagious. Everything about his face just says happy. He really is my sunshine.
He adores Aidan and follows him around imitating all of the "big kid" stuff he does. He loves Ry and it is apparent in his every action... always hugging him, helping him, trying to make him laugh...
I look at this amazing boy and can't believe I ever thought "Oh Shit". I look at him... and thank god for making me his mama. I look at him... and can't believe... just like that... he is 4 years old!
