So you didn't win the power ball...

So you didn't win the 1.5 billion dollar jackpot... neither did I. Fuck. I mean seriously I was kind of banking on that shit. Planned the rest of my year accordingly and what not. So yeah... FUCK! Not building a house on the beach. Or not this year anyway.

When you think of all the opportunities out there its kinda crazy that this one in a 292 million chance makes everyone pause. And dream. For most part the dreams I hear spoken out loud even by strangers were simple. Pay off my debt. Help my family. Go on vacation. Donate to charity.

While $1.5 billion would make all of these dreams a reality in the blink of an eye there is no reason to stop dreaming for the things most of us want are not that far out of reach.

Pay off debt. A stack of bills can seem insurmountable but they aren't. Stop waiting to win the lottery to live free of the financial burdens that are weighing you down.

1. Create a budget and stick to it.

I highly recommend deleting any shopping apps that you have on your smart phone. Amazon one click to buy. DANGEROUS. Zulily... get rid of it. Those flash sales are so tempting. But honestly do your research they are not quite the bargain they appear to be. GROUPON. Gone. Don't splurge on offers that seem to good to be true. They are. And you don't need the juice cleanse that is 65% off. It is still gonna taste like shit and sit in your freezer with all the other diet regrets you have. Trust me.

Eliminate the temptations and start living with in your means. Simplifying your life and spending is with in your power and easier than you think. You just have to commit to it and remind yourself you are not Carrie Bradshaw.

2. Pay off your credit cards. Start with the one that carries the highest balance and go from there. Always pay more than the minimum. Consolidate if you have to. Got a bonus from work? Put it towards your debt. Good tax return? Put it towards your debt. Cash from Christmas? Your Birthday? PUT IT TOWARDS YOUR DEBT! Ugh no fun! No... no fun at all! But neither is debt. When it is all paid off you will feel great and be able to reward yourself for all the fun you didn't partake in. Just don't put it on the damn card... Have I taught you nothing ?!

Help my family. Truth is you won't know how many family members you have in need until you hit the powerball. Shit you won't know how many family members you HAVE until you hit the powerball. All the needy will come crawling out of the wood work and every other god forsaken crack and crevice that you never saw. The branches of that family tree will start to stretch far and wide. And is promised to be full of fruit. Fruit that has only produced nuts. Lots and lots of NUTS.

I know, I know you were talking about your immediate family. Your parents. Children. Those closest to you. But you can help them now.

Don't have a savings account for your kids? Start one today. It is as good a time as any. Don't have the cash to spare. Start with pennies. Literally. PENNIES! For each day of the year put that many pennies in a jar. Day one 1 cent. Day 2 two cents. Day 3 three cents. you get the idea. By the end of the year you will have saved $667.95 Do this for 15 years you will have $10,019.25! And that is if you just keep it in a jar with absolutely no interest. I know not the millions you had in mind... but hey 10k is a nice amount to have in the bank on your 18th birthday. And a heck of down payment on a car... and what kid doesn't want a car for his birthday?! Seriously at that age its close enough to hitting the lottery and will make you feel like a million bucks that you could do it for them.

Wanna help your parents? They don't want your money. They want your time. And you don't have to hit the lottery to pay them a visit.

Vacation. Who says you can't go on vacaction?! Okay maybe you can't go all out on a trip the costs 30k. But if you pay off that debt and start saving your pennies you most certainly can. And a nice one at that.

Wanna donate to charity? You can do that today! While it would be awesome to turn around and donate a million dollars to every deserving charity... the truth is if we all collectively gave a small amount when we had it we would be doing a great deal of good. Most charities don't rely on a one time grand gesture. They thrive on the people that give their constant support. They need your time as much as they need your cash.

Anyway my point is... life is what you make it. Hitting the lottery... taking home the jack pot would be amazing. Life changing at that. But don't wait for that one in a 292 million chance to change your life.. for the better. Get yourself out of debt. Pay your mom a visit. Start putting pennies in a jar. Go on that vacation. Adopt a dog from a shelter. Volunteer your time at a local charity. Start living your billion dollar dreams today. Nothing is stopping you from making them a reality.

New Year, New You... F%*@ YES!

To all the narcissistic Nancy's out there I will not let you rain on my resolution parade. I see your gym selfies, read your kale recipes, I get it... you have your shit together. You always have. I admire your resolve and the fact that you don't need a Monday or a New Year to get your skinny little ass in gear. You should be proud of the fact that you are fit. Organized. The same weight today that you were in your freshman year of high school. That a baby or age did not wreak absolute havoc on your body. I am happy for you. I really am. You deserve a cookie. A cookie that you won't eat. So I'll just keep my cookie (and most likely enjoy while you aren't looking)... but know the sentiment was there.

I get it too that your usually sparse fitness classes will now be filled with.. people like me. Over weight. Out of shape. Sweating before the 10 minute mark. I know your are hoping that you only have to look at my fat ass for the next month or so. Because that is typically how long New Year resolutions last. Quite honestly I hope to be standing next to you well after February 1st... of 2017 with a smaller ass.

I know that for you this is a way of life. It is a commitment you have made to yourself. Your family. And you live it. Breathe it. You own it. And I probably seem ridiculous... to you. Yes some of us come late to the table but it doesn't mean we have nothing to bring. So I am here to tell you... 2016 is going to be my bitch. New Year... New ME! Fuck YES!

And in all fairness I deserve a shot. I care about me too. And good lord do I wish that I had made a solid commitment to myself long before now... but I didn't. And no not because I am lazy. Or because I am a stay at home mom that has let herself go. No. I have just been really fucking busy... you know with life and making little humans. Turns out they are super needy and even an hour to hit the gym is a lot to ask.

Don't get me wrong I know that this is an uphill battle. And most people fail. Make the same resolution year after year and never get anywhere. But I am determined to make it work... make this year better than the last.

And to all those that are with me... all the ones that need a Monday or a New Year to get it together. I solute you. More importantly I support you. When you hit that rough patch in a month from now I will not say "told you so"... I will cheer you on. Lift you up. Remind you of why you started. I will encourage you to keep going. To always keep on going.

So stop mocking the New Year, New You people because quite honestly if you are... maybe you are the one that needs to reevaluate. Everyone can improve.. yes... even you Nancy... in your size 2 jeans.



Happy New Year! Have a resolution? Comment below I'd love to hear it